Frustration is part of life. But understanding where it comes from enables us to live joyful, effective lives—even when things don’t go our way.
The root of every frustrating situation you have ever faced in life can be summed up in two words: unmet expectations. Undoubtedly, we have each experienced those moments, days, weeks, or even longer seasons of frustration – all of which occur because we feel entitled to the fulfillment of one or more of the following sub-conscious desires:
Each one of us can use a little guidance from time to time. Direction and assistance from wise people is an indispensable ingredient to growing and developing throughout life. As much as we are prone to gravitate towards individuality and independence, no individual is an island.
The best advice can often be stated in just a few words. For me, it is those simple insights that catch my attention. Because like you, at every turn, I am daily saturated with a barrage of information and soundbites. Consequently, I long to hear relevant and relatable wisdom that can cut through the noise around me.
I want to live life well. I don’t just desire to be smart. More than anything, I aspire to be wise. So I am looking for seasoned mentors who are willing to share with me bite-sized nuggets of perspective that will rouse me from my dizzying state of incessant activity. I welcome mini wake up calls.
Every one of us is in the process of becoming someone, but too often we place the emphasis on what we will do and how we will spend our time rather than who we will be and where we will invest our life.
As a parent of five children, I well remember asking each of them when they were young: “So who do you want to be when you grow up?” Their responses included the predictable: an astronomer, an astronaut, an archeologist, and even an antique collector. My kids were at first surprised when, in response to their vocational aspirations, I would share with them that those are all the wrong answers.
Because if you listen closely to my question, you will notice that I was not inquiring about what career they hoped to choose, but whothey actually wanted to be at the end of their lives. As facetious as it was to pose a trick question, I was training my children to think beyond professions and positions to matters of character, choices, consequences, and ultimately, their personal legacy. Even to this day, as I spend time coaching and mentoring young leaders, I chuckle inside when I ask them this same question, “So who do you want to be when you grow up?” knowing that I am setting the snare to expose short-sighted perspectives.
In my first post, I explore what a life coach is and what a life coach isn’t, while offering a look into my personal coaching style and philosophy.
A life coach is kind of like a friend, but the sort of friend who won’t just sit by and smile at the stupid decisions of their buddies. A great life coach respects the autonomy of each individual, but is not at all shy about nudging people out of their comfort zone in an effort to help them become a better version of themselves.
A life coach should be a cojourner of sorts. He is not a guru who has all the answers. He is not a psychic who can precisely predict the future. However, a skilled life coach is someone who has the ability to step to the side of both emerging and established leaders and assist them in maximizing their potential and crafting a better tomorrow. Bottom-line: an effective life coach won’t let you off the hook in not chasing after your dreams.