Episode #189 Advocate For Yourself

Five Problems

• If our happiness is contingent on getting what we want, we will often find ourselves frustrated and disappointed.
• The primary reason we fail to advocate for ourselves is fear of rejection.
• Women are more likely than men to be perceived as unlikeable when they are assertive.
• We will never be fully known by others if we shy away from expressing our preferences.
• We cannot expect what we have not expressed.

Five Principles

• We may not always get what we want, but we can always express what we want.
• It is reasonable and appropriate for us to expect a certain degree of respect.
• It is OK to want something, and this is evidence that we are human.
• We are someone, we are significant, we are special, and we are strong.
• Every human being has the power to make choices that lead to change.

Five Practices

• When you find yourself feeling unsettled in some dimension of life, identify what exactly it is that you want.
• If someone is not meeting your expectations, consider whether you have clearly stated those expectations in the first place.
• Explore counseling services that can help to strengthen your self-advocacy muscles.
• Prepare in advance a few notes that you can reference when advocating for yourself.
• Review the Bill of Assertive Rights developed by Manuel J. Smith.