Episode #216 Stop Saying Sorry

Seven Problems

• Apologies can sometimes function as masks that limit our ability to connect with others.
• Over-apologizing is a common yet ineffective strategy to avoid disappointment.
• Self-serving apologies can never lead to intimacy.
• If we apologize too often, we may diminish the power of our apologies.
• Giving out apologies too freely is like handing our precious china to children.
• Our society suffers from an epidemic of insecurity.
• If we don’t make a habit of saying No, others will not be able to trust our Yes.

Seven Principles

• One of our greatest needs as human beings is to be both fully loved and fully known.
• Apologies should be reserved for genuine expressions of repentance.
• We don’t need to apologize for prioritizing whatever we consider most important.
• We gain others’ respect when standing by convictions and setting healthy boundaries.
• In order to change unhealthy behaviors, we must first address unhelpful beliefs.
• Each mistake should prompt the question, “How do I prevent this in the future?”
• Our feelings are real, and it is both healthy and appropriate to express them.

Three Practices

• Enter each environment believing that the world needs more of you, not less.
• Audit your apologies by keeping count of each time you say “Sorry” for the next week.
• Replace your next apology with a choice to right the wrong or prevent future harm.