Episode #203 Release Your Control
How do we respond when life doesn’t go as planned? This week, Dr. Michael Brown and Barb Roose, author of Surrendered, consider how good intentions can lead to destructive outcomes and encourage us instead to choose peace and productivity.
Show Notes
When one side recognized that they didn’t have the resources to win the war and they were at risk of mortal death, surrender wasn’t giving up or giving in but was a strategy to give over control so that they could survive and live to fight another day.Barb Roose
Five Problems
- When we attempt to control our lives, we often make things more difficult.
- One of the most dangerous lies we can believe is that we can control the uncontrollable.
- People occasionally change, but people never change people.
- The choices we make in response to fear are typically unhealthy.
- We can’t hold onto something that we’ve never had in the first place.
Five Controlling Behaviors
- Stonewalling: when we dig in our heels
- Helicoptering: when we micromanage others
- Interrupting: when we interfere with others’ lives
- Nagging: when we repeat ourselves over and over
- Excessive Planning: when we don’t accept what we can’t control
Three Principles
- Life becomes easier when we accept the reality that we can’t control everything.
- Surrender is a survival strategy.
- When we release our control, we can finally trade “What if?” for what is.
Five Practices
- Find peace and comfort in the phrase, “This is out of my control.”
- When a situation feels overwhelming, consider what is in your control and what isn’t.
- Identify three areas in your life where you are struggling to release control.
- Practice a palms up, palms down meditation to release control and receive freedom.
- Pause before entering your home at the end of the day, letting go of what you can.
In This Episode
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