Episode #115 Stop Chasing Happiness

Positive feelings and emotions are nice, but they shouldn’t be our greatest goal in life. This week, Dr. Michael Brown and counselor Steve Rieske count the cost of a life devoted to pursuing the wrong thing.

Show Notes

We’re trying to separate that which damages me – things like revenge or bitterness or malice – and we’re saying, "I’ll allow myself this one."
Steve Rieske

Five Problems

  • The pursuit of happiness often makes the outcome of happiness less likely.
  • Pleasure makes us happy… until it doesn’t.
  • We can never become healthy if we fail to make healthy choices.
  • We tend to ignore negative emotions at the expense of our health.
  • Revenge may feel good in the moment, but it is in opposition to a life well lived.

Five Principles

  • Happiness is not a brief experience of pleasure but an elongated state of wellbeing.
  • It is far more helpful to pursue health and wholeness than it is to pursue happiness.
  • Expressions of grief produce greater joy than merely pretending to be happy.
  • Our goal as parents should not be to keep our kids happy but to help them become well.
  • Wisdom produces happiness, and happiness confirms whether the wisdom is working.

Three Practices

  • If the pursuit of your values does not produce wellness, consider rethinking your values.
  • Regularly pause in examination of your life and ask, “Is this working?”
  • Invite wise mentors to suggest choices that could help you to become more fully alive.