Episode #174 Shut Your Mouth
We could all benefit from the advice to stop talking so much. This week, Dr. Michael Brown and Casey Greenawalt do their best not to interrupt each other in this conversation about the key to healthy communication.
Show Notes
When someone is actually pausing long enough to gather a response, this tells me that when I was talking, they were actually present with me. They were really listening.Dr. Michael Brown
Seven Problems
- Sharing our opinions more quickly does not increase the likelihood that those opinions will be understood.
- Our conversations are often dominated by statements rather than peppered with questions.
- When we feel the pressure to interrupt silence with more talking, this highlights our discomfort with being fully present with others.
- Social media was not created to help us become better listeners.
- We will struggle to engage in deep and meaningful relationships for as long as we always have to be right.
- We are not as good at listening as we would like to believe.
- Complaining loves company, but it is cancerous to community.
Three Principles
- Not every thought needs to be expressed at the very moment it crosses our minds.
- Even when we don’t understand someone’s feelings, we can still believe their feelings.
- Sometimes the most interesting person in the room is the one who speaks the least.
Five Practices
- Resist the temptation to make a public statement about every single issue in the news.
- Before opening your mouth in emotionally charged environments, consider, “Is this the best time for me to speak?”
- Ask the people who know you best, “How do I make others feel when I enter a room?” and “How can I become a better listener?”
- Regularly remind yourself to shut your mouth so others won’t wish that you would.
- In your very next conversation, make an effort to listen twice as much as you speak.
In This Episode
Related Dimensions
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Quit Your Complaining
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