Episode #83 Listen To Understand

Three Problems

• It is hard to be a good listener when we are constantly thinking about what to say next.
• We often decide that we “could never understand” someone before we have made a genuine effort to listen to them.
• There cannot be unity without understanding.

Three Principles

• Conversations become more meaningful when we ask fantastic questions.
• The better we listen, the more details others will feel comfortable sharing with us.
• Every human being has stories worth hearing, especially those who are different from us.

Seven Practices

• Adjust the phrasing of standard questions like “How are you?” or “How was work?” to demonstrate that you really care.
• Make a practice of following conversations wherever they lead rather than directing conversations where you want them to go.
• Utilize the phrase, “That is so interesting. Tell me more.”
• Turn off the TV, put down the phone, and close the laptop when speaking with others.
• When you feel like you don’t understand someone’s perspectives, ask yourself, “Have I listened enough?”
• When your relationships feel stagnant, make a practice of listening more closely and asking thoughtful questions.
• Initiate a conversation this week with just one goal: to understand.