Episode #126 The Selfish Advantage

Three Problems

• On the rare occasions that we think about others, we typically only think about them in relation to ourselves.
• We are remarkably in tune with our own desires and equally out of tune with others’ desires.
• If we pursue relationships with the goal of getting something out of them, we will often be disappointed.

Five Principles

• We have so many more great ideas about how to be good friends than we realize.
• If we redirect even a fraction of our selfish creativity to benefit others, we will become exceptionally thoughtful friends.
• Expressing words of appreciation and affection to others actually brings as much joy to ourselves as it brings to those we encourage.
• When it comes to friendships, joy is often found on the other side of awkwardness.
• It is better to give than receive, and our lives become fuller when they are emptied for others.

Three Practices

• Enter each environment with the goal of being more interested in others than interesting to others.
• Refuse to think a single positive thought about someone without sharing it verbally within 24 hours.
• Make a list of every way your friends have left you with unmet expectations, then take action to meet those same expectations for others.