Episode #219 Be Fully Known (EC #4)

Five Problems

• When life is difficult, our tendency is to go it alone.
• To be fully known is to risk rejection.
• Unconditional love without complete knowledge is actually a pretty shallow love.
• If we are not willing to become a best friend, we will often struggle to find a best friend.
• It is both easier and less helpful to share a secret with a stranger than with a loved one.

Eight Principles

• There is a big difference between being known and being fully known.
• When we are fully known by a few, we are able to relate more freely to everyone else.
• As we seek to know others more deeply, this desire is often reciprocated.
• Boundaries do not preclude transparency, and they are actually its prerequisite.
• We can care about others’ problems without carrying others’ problems.
• Naming what we are not responsible for helps us to prioritize what matters most.
• We all have the power to do something difficult, even when we are scared.
• The first step to becoming fully known is to become a little bit more known.

Eight Practices

• Live a life that is more interested in others than interesting to others.
• Practice expressing your emotions – both the good and the bad.
• Identify those parts of yourself that are still hiding behind a mask.
• Reveal your true self slowly rather than suddenly.
• Walk away from relationships that are defined by being fake.
• Remove your own mask in order to inspire others to do the same.
• If there is a hope or dream you’ve never expressed, share it with someone this week.

One Perspective

• “Maturity is the willingness to take responsibility for your emotional destiny.” – Edwin Friedman