Episode #136 Give Better Feedback

Five Problems

• It is often just as awkward and unsettling to give feedback as it is to receive feedback.
• Fluffy feedback is mere flattery and does nothing to help others grow.
• The concluding remark, “But overall you’re doing great” effectively negates any preceding constructive feedback and comes across as disingenuous.
• When we ramble in an attempt to lighten a blow, we create confusion rather than clarity.
• If we only ever compliment or encourage others during formal feedback sessions, we will be perceived as inauthentic.

Five Principles

• Feedback is an essential element of open communication, so its benefit is not restricted to the workplace alone.
• Spoken feedback creates much less conflict than unspoken frustrations.
• The people around us will rarely invite our feedback, so it is our responsibility to initiate it ourselves.
• Good intentions breed helpful feedback, and bad intentions breed harmful feedback.
• The first step to giving better feedback is often as simple as giving more feedback.

Three Practices

• Be very explicit when providing feedback rather than giving in to the temptation to drop subtle hints.
• Acknowledge awkwardness or tension within minutes rather than within weeks or months (or years).
• Before initiating feedback, pause to consider whether your intention is to help or to hurt.