Episode #187 Raise Strong Kids

Every parent will wound their children in a variety of ways. This week, Dr. Michael Brown (father of 9) and Dr. Beau Johnson (father of 5) encourage us to prioritize effective parenting over protective parenting.

Show Notes

We want kids who grow up and want to come home… but don’t have to come home.
Dr. Beau Johnson

Five Problems

  • When our primary goal is to keep our children safe, we unknowingly make them weak.
  • If we take away our children’s problems, we sabotage their future problem-solving skills.
  • Without intentionality, we will inevitably coddle some of our children more than others.
  • Our children will never meet our expectations if we continually change the rules.
  • We couldn’t imagine running a business without a mission statement or strategic plan, but this is typically the way we lead our families.

Five Principles

  • Parenting mindset must precede parenting strategies.
  • The heaviest weights we can remove from our children are those of shame, insecurity, and perfection.
  • Many of the rules we make for our children can be summarized by a single rule, like “Be considerate.”
  • We can set high expectations and demonstrate high amounts of grace at the same time.
  • Our children will learn more through their failures than through their successes.

Five Practices

  • Don’t do anything for your children that they could reasonably do for themselves.
  • Let your children experience the consequences of their decisions rather than absorbing those consequences yourself.
  • Allow your children to feel their feelings, rejecting the temptation to fix their feelings.
  • Consider what it looks like to set fewer rules and to be strict where it matters most.
  • Identify your family values, and connect each of these to specific family behaviors.